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Snowstorm

from BLUE by Ella Karen

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about

A song about the fear of relapsing into poor mental health.

CW: depression, mental health relapse, self-harm references, loneliness

lyrics

Little blue house, I don't move from these walls
little girl sobs, It's getting so cold
inside my head, a snowstorm awaits
but I, won't let it in.

Little bit tired from the thoughts I don't say
little bit numb from the days I wasted
inside my head a snowstorm awaits
but I, can't be afraid.

But I, will survive
can't rewind.

'Cause I was so lost
yet so strong.

I can't relapse I wish it were easy,
standing on both feet leaving this house alone
(this house alone)
I can't forget what I put my friends through
stuck in a rut asking myself, what can I do?
(what can I do?)

Beating myself up, hiding in corners,
fighting the urge to leave this house alone
(this house alone)
and I can't forget what I put myself through
stuck in a rut asking my Dad, what can I do?
(what can I do?)

Falling so fast, can I mend from this fall?
falling for her, but I'm not really sure
inside my bed a snowstorm awaits
do I let her in?

Falling too hard so it hurts even more
falling for her warmth - is that the allure?
inside my bed a snowstorm awaits
but I can't be afraid.

But I, will survive
can't rewind.

'Cause I was so lost
yet so strong.

I can't relapse I wish it were easy,
standing on both feet leaving this house alone
(this house alone)
I can't forget what I put my friends through
stuck in a rut asking myself, what can I do?
(what can I do?)

Beating myself up, hiding in corners,
fighting the urge to leave this house alone
(this house alone)
and I can't forget what I put myself through
stuck in a rut asking my Dad, what can I do?
(what can I do?)

Tired of taking two steps back,
when I think I've freed my demons
can I find a way to beat them,
beat them, beat them?

Tired of taking two blue pills,
when I'm frozen on the inside
can I find a way to feel it,
feel it, feel it?

I can't relapse I wish it were easy,
standing on both feet leaving this house alone
(this house alone)
I can't forget what I put my friends through
stuck in a rut asking myself, what can I do?
(what can I do?)

Beating myself up, hiding in corners,
fighting the urge to leave this house alone
(this house alone)
and I can't forget what I put myself through
stuck in a rut asking my Dad, what can I do?
(what can I do?)

credits

from BLUE, released May 11, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Ella Karen Scotland, UK

Singer/songwriter from Edinburgh. I produce songs about mental health and recovery.

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